Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
