Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
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