This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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