I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Fuck appropriateness.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
