u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I wish you could order shots online.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
