hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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