why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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