She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize