He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Randomize
