i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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