i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I hope mine doesn't look like that
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
