I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
