I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Randomize