Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
