Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
