1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
