Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Randomize
