i don't like sucking hair
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
