I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Use "feeling words"
Yay
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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