if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
