Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
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