Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
