Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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