i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize
