discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
