My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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