Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
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I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
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Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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