He is such a slut. More and more my type.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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