There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
handjob tips. give me some.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
