If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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