This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize