I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Randomize
