are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
