"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
