i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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