I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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