she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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