So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Randomize
