He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
3 2 1 whiskey
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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