dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
