called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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