You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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