My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
