2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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