I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
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Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
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You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
its liver damage thursday
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