Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I need a beard to bite.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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