I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Randomize
