so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
