Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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