who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I wish there were birth control emojis
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
