Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Randomize
