It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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