I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
