It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
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