She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
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