Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
wow bdsm is so cute
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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