thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize