The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
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There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
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my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
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