Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
last night I used snow as a chaser
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