today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
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