She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Randomize
